I never imagined I would use the titles
"ex-husband"
"step-kids"
"second marriage"
"ex-wife"
"Mom's Boyfriend"
"Dad's Girlfriend"
My life is amazing, I am so greatly blessed with a wonderful husband, with incredible in-laws in my life that have embraced me into their family and have loved my children without hesitation. My husband's ex-wife is wonderful and I'm blessed to call her my friend. My children have a great new sibling, and live in a safe, clean, caring neighborhood. My husband builds forts, visits my Mom, hangs out with the kids, helps with homework, is involved and aware of all of our individual lives, and he makes amazing dinners! My life is better than I had imagined, yet completely different than I could've ever believed it would be.
There are still moments, much fewer and far between than before, but still moments....where it all feels pretend. I find myself waiting for it to all "POOF" and disappear. I find myself hesitant to put my 100% FAITH in this life. I trust my husband, I trust the Lord. It's those moments of doubt that freak me out.
I wonder if there are moments in everyone's life where it just doesn't feel like "Real Life".
What is "Real Life" anyway?! Anything and everything we do is real, it's not like we are living in the Matrix. Even when bad things happen, even if people come in and out of our lives, it's all REAL! It all adds up to MY life. It all contributes to who I am.
As Tage and I venture into a new phase, which seems to be the nature of our life...I find myself taking yet, another leap of Faith that makes this life even more concrete, even more tangible, more reliable, more permanent, more REAL!
So, here we go...2 new jobs in the same week. Possibility of a new home, holidays around the corner....
So glad I have a wonderful husband to cling to through the craziness of REAL life!
I still have to pinch myself now and then. For the first 4 years I had to pinch myself every few days......now it feels rea, solid, complete.... its great to find a good man and the more times I had the opportunity to freak out and NOT have him act as my ex had, the more I trusted that this was different, this was REAL, this was possible. I don't worry about it anymore. When familiar past experiences come up I don't even relate it to my former life.... He has created that for me and I love him for it. =)
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