Well, I have found that I do, and WAY too often, and WAY to out of proportion!
I think once your heart has been torn apart, you tend to be terrified that any small blip is going to lead to that again. Even if the small blip consists of your spouse not knowing how you like your pants folded....or something as simple as that.
- You come home to the laundry done...YAY!
- Your spouse has folded all your laundry
Option 1- Thank you so much! You are so great!
Option 2- What!? You don't think I do enough around here, that you had to go and do the laundry yourself, and even fold all my whites. Great! I'm just not good enough!
- Then you see that your pants are folded in the way that you have expressed that you would prefer them be folded differently.Choice in thinking:
Option 1- Thank you so much! Who cares, now I don't have to fold them. If it
bothered me that much, then I should probably fold them myself.
Option 2- You don't even care about the small things, you don't care enough
about me to fold my pants right. I guess my needs don't really
matter to you...great!
Remember that even if you have misunderstandings, you are on the same team reaching for the same goal. Always go with "They love me", and live your life the best you know how. Everything else will fall where it will fall.