Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Empowered Parenting

Over a year ago, I was desperate to find a way to be a better parent.
While driving to work one morning a radio ad was an answer to my prayers.

Empowered Parenting

They claimed to turn you into a perfect parent, well maybe not perfect, but it definitely sounded better than what I was accomplishing on my own. Plus it was FREE if you filled out their survey! Yay FREE!
(The survey ended up being 6 hours of work, but made me really understand and utilize the program)

Anyway, it's great and I totally recommend it.

Something from today's continuing ed...

Irresponsible Children: Why Nagging and Lecturing Don't Work

"Why is this such a hard lesson to teach—and why does learning to be responsible seem so hard for kids? It’s not because your child is hard-headed or a spoiled brat, or because you haven’t been trying to teach him about it. Here's the hard pill to swallow: if your child is continually irresponsible, it could mean that you aren’t taking responsibility for your own behavior."

Ouch, right!? Here is a simple example from tonight...

Lulu wanted to eat a Kiwi with a spoon, which was causing juice to drip everywhere. I asked her to eat it outside. She took two steps towards the door...Tage "outside please"...
Two more steps
Me: outside
Distraction about Bobo wanting help with his shoes
Tage: You are dripping, go outside
Two more steps
Me: Lulu Outside
Two more steps
Tage: "Seriously?" Stare down
Me: that's still not outside
Finally, outside to finish her last bit of Kiwi.

What did she learn?...That we will pathetically get frustrated over her eating a Kiwi while taking baby steps out the door. If she got frustrated over such a simple thing as Bobo or Dooda not listening to her, she would probably spend some "cool down time" in her room. (and I wonder why she is so bossy and controlling!?)

What could've been done differently?
  • I could've asked her 1 time.
  • The reason why I asked her to go outside was because it was going to drip all over and I didn't want to clean it up.
  • But why should I have to clean it up when, she would be the one that had caused it? Even though it may have taken some extra effort in having her clean up her mess, I would'nt have gotten involved with her ability to choose whether to go or not go outside.
  • When she chose to not go outside and juice is on the floor, I would've then told her to clean it up, and when it was clean she could join us for dinner. It may have ended up being a horrible night of making her clean.
But, then she would've learned why we don't eat things that drip juice while walking through the house....And that is what she could've learned.

Even if I took the Kiwi away when she didn't immediately go outside, she would've just been mad, but still what lesson would be learned? Maybe to listen and obey after the first request...but that should'nt be a lesson she needs to learn if I'm consistent on only giving 1 request...right?

1 comment:

  1. this was a great reminder!! Thank you!! definitely something we as parents need to hear every other week... :)