President of FHE

If you had a meeting at work that was to be the responsibility of the President, how would that go...?

The President doesn't have to be the one talking the whole time, they don't have to be involved in every segment. They can delegate everything if they wanted to. They would have the VP guiding them with suggestions and ideas as to what the company needed. But, in the end if the President doesn't want to have a meeting the meeting doesn't happen. And if the President wants a meeting then it's up to them to implement a meeting.

If a VP asked a president, "How would you like to conduct the meeting?" and the Presidents response was "I don't know." Then what?

I like being in charge. I like running things my way with my ideas. Yet, just like any organization needs specific responsibilities assigned to specific individuals, so does a family. And when people start taking over other peoples assignments it leads to disorganization.

Family Home Evening is our "weekly meeting" for our organization. Tage is "in charge" of the meeting. Of course I want it to go a certain way. But, this is an area that I see an opportunity to gauge how I'm doing in allowing him to take pride in guiding our family, and my ability to support him. So instead of me saying, "Hey everyone we are having FHE! And then asking someone to give the prayer, and having everything already planned...I ask Tage, when will we be having FHE tonight? Anything I can do to help?  I'm very far from being good at this.


As a wife it's easy to fall into "doing it all". But, I feel that it's part of our responsibility to honor our husband by encouraging and reminding him of the responsibilities that are a privilege as the "head of the house."

Just as letting kids take responsibility for their own chores gives them a place in the home. It gives them confidence, it let's them know that they are a part of this family. The same goes for each of us, even the parents. We all need a place. We all need to allow each other to have a place. We need to hold each other to that expectation so that our family functions the best it can. Let your husband take pride in his responsibilities, and take pride in yours.

Work together to create a great organization just as two business partners would.

Team Marriage

In every team there are different responsibilities and contributions. Different strengths and weaknesses. Yet when the team scores a goal, the entire team shares all that it took to make it happen.

Tages "Position": Home Base

Things he gets to do:

• Get the kids up in the morning
• Watch cartoons with Bobo
• See Lulu's new fashion of the day
• Do laundry while watching the morning talk shows
• Arrange play dates
• Do homework with the kids
• See Bobo's face all day
• See Lulu get off the bus (which I've never done)
• Provide service to others in the middle of the day

He's great at all of it. It's a position I use to play, and now he gets to do it. I get jealous. I get frustrated that I don't get to have that "position". I sometimes feel bad that he is better at it than I was. But, when I remember that he's my teammate and needs my encouragement and support, he deserves my respect and admiration for his accomplishments and hard work, it feels much better.

As I pursue a career with many possibilities, I find myself forming a new "position". As exciting as a new career can be, I still have moments of jealousy that I don't get to be "Home Base". I have to remember everything has a time and a purpose.

So, rather than be jealous and resentful...when he gets to serve others in the middle of the day, I remember that we are a team, and because of both of our efforts "WE" get to provide service. And "WE" make a new career successful. And "WE" both contribute to allowing the kids to be home and have Bobo watch morning cartoons, and Lulu get off the bus. And even though I'm not there...both of our efforts have created this lifestyle. Without either of our efforts this wouldn't exist.

The late nights at the office, or the early mornings developing a plan...are all part of having my kids enjoy the wonderful blessings of being home. It contributes to my husband being able to focus on school and create the line of work he chooses.

CHOOSE TO BE A TEAM PLAYER!

Check out my AMAZING Teammate HERE.

Lying Little Kids

"I promise, I'm not lying!"
Would this cute face lie?

 Kids learn to lie at a very young age. Why is this? It freaks me out!

It was bed time. Bobo says he brushed his teeth. I knew he hadn't, but he insisted. To me, he's just my sweet little innocent boy, and I find it amusing when he tries to be naughty. I was going to joke with him  until he couldn't keep the lie up any longer....then Daddy Tage stepped in.

He says, "That's 1 strike, we don't lie in this family."
I immediately thought that his approach was a bit too extreme, and give him a "death glare."

He responds, "What? He lied."
I roll my eyes.
"Did he brush his teeth or did he not?"
"He didn't."
"So he lied. And we don't lie."
Without any other defense I say something stupid..."I guess our definitions of lying are different."

Bobo brushes his teeth with frustration that he was in trouble for his little white lie.

The next day at church....

We have a Sunday School lesson focused on "Every Word of Command with Exactness."
Through the class discussion I realize that as a 4 year old, getting away with a little lie can lead to bigger and bigger lies. I came to the conclusion that it's better for my son to be aware of his wrong choices now, when they have little consequence rather than later, when the consequences will be much worse than being made to brush his teeth.

If he can get away with "I brushed my teeth." Then what's next?

As hard as it is to see the kids suffer through consequences, I'm so grateful for my husband and his ability to see past the cute little faces in order to teach and guide our kiddos to learn what's right and wrong. Kids these days seem to be extremely bad or extremely good. The only way to become extremely good, is to have parents that believe in their kids ability to rise above the refiners fire in order to become great! Also parents that can set aside their own need for approval and resist the ease of taking on their children's burdens, because they understand a bigger reward is achieved.

But, they are just so darn cute, and snuggly. I want to save them from every tear and hurt feeling. But, I have to remember they are GREAT spirits that can only achieve their potential by learning the necessary lessons of life.

Toilet Paper Roll Misunderstanding

(Thank you "Pinnedit" for the pic)

My wonderful husband comes up with some great ideas. His latest idea was making "Rocket Pack" for the boys out of recycled soda bottles.
About a month ago he said we should start saving toilet paper rolls to make these...

(Thank you Thrifty Craft Girl for pic)

One morning I say a few empty toilet paper rolls on the back of the tub, I thought, "we must be starting to save for Halloween already." So, every time there is an empty toilet paper roll, I toss it on the pile. Now, reading my Husbands Blog I find out that he doesn't know why there are toilet paper rolls sitting all over the bathrooms. Ha ha ha! I guess I can start throwing them away now, or just leave them on the toilet paper dispenser for him to change, since that's part of his job now...he he :)

I told Dooda to wipe the toothpaste off his mouth with toilet paper. He took a square of toilet paper and wiped his mouth, and Tage said "NO, wipe it on the towel, tp costs money"! I'm sure I suddenly gave him the "death look" and calmly said, "Honey, it's okay, it's toilet paper. I'm okay with him wiping his mouth on it, it's better than on the hand towel or his bath towel." He did not agree, he was determined to save the toilet paper square. Avoiding a fight over a toilet paper square as we sat in the family prayer circle, we silently agreed to disagree.

So glad that he started a blog, I finally have a place to go to understand what the heck he is thinking! I'm glad to know that he was aware of why he freaked out. And most importantly that I WAS RIGHT! ha ha.

I am so impressed at his willingness and ability to do all the Stay-at-home stuff. He asked if I would be willing to do the dishes last night and I really didn't want to, and it crossed my mind, "but you've been home all day." And then I quickly thought about when I was home all day how nice it was that the dishes or laundry or any housework would get done. And I made myself do the dishes.

My husband is doing a wonderful job as a Stay-at-home Dad. Raising step children can not be easy. Raising my own children is not easy. As great as it would be to be home again, I don't know that I would make the drastic change as seemingly easy as he has.

Step Child Discipline

She (Tage's Ex) had picked up my son from Day Care and took the boys swimming.
I picked them up from the pool after work.
Boys fought about sitting in the middle seat.
So, no one got to sit in the middle.
Dooda starting screaming.
His Mom brought over some treats and said several times that he couldn't have them until he stopped crying.
He never stopped crying, but got the treats anyway.
(I am guilty of doing this, so no judgement at all!)
When he got the treats he stuck his tongue out at me and she told him that it wasn't good to do that.
He continued to throw a fit.

She's his Mom and as long as she is there, it's her rules and her discipline.
I respect her and love her, she's wonderful!

While he's in my care, it's my rules and my discipline.

As soon as we drove away I reached back and took the treats. "You are welcome to have your treats when you calm down. It's not okay to stick your tongue out."

More screaming. I know from past experience that his fits are over in 10 minutes max. So, I remind myself that in 10 minutes it will seem this never happened.

And sure enough as soon as we got to the Day Care to pick up my daughter he was all smiles.

When we ate dinner he gave the least amount of push back I've seen in a long time. I felt I had gained his respect and given him boundaries that helped him feel more confident. He was an angel the rest of the evening.

Parenting well is so much easier when you know they already have a Mom that spoils them.
With my own kids, I'm the one that wants to spoil them, and it gets in the way of good parenting.
I need to be a better parent to my own children, and remember that their Dad spoils them enough for the both of us.