Stay Married

A friend of mine shared this GREAT article with me...Thank you Heather!

Lydia Netzer tells it like it is!

- Go to Bed Mad: "Shut up, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I swear." 

- Deflect a fight with laughter.

- Don't Criticize EVER: "Whatever critical thing that you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. And if it's true, she already feels like crap about it."

-  Be the Mirror: "Be a mirror that reflects something positive: you're smart, you're successful, you're fantastic in the sack, you're a great provider, you're the best."

- Get really good at sex.

- Make a husband pact with your friends: "I will nod and furrow my brow and sigh when you describe him as a hideous ogre. Then when your fight is over and love shines again like a beautiful sunbeam in your life, I promise to forget everything you said and regard him as the most charming of princes once more." 

- Trust the person you married: "Love them completely and let them love you. If it all goes to seed, it's going to hurt either way. Better to have gone into it full throttle. Full throttle marriage is a thrilling ride."

Read all 15 Ways to Stay Married

Date Night Ideas

This is a great blog with endless Date Night ideas. 

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! 

 Have fun with your Sweetheart, stay within your means, and enjoy the simple joy of marriage.

 We would love your comments about topics you want to see with Both Sides of the Story... 

Give us something to bicker about...:) 

Bringing Sexy Back!

My husband wrote a reply to this post...I think someone hijacked his blog...he he!

Marriage can get boring and serious really fast.

I use to dream of a particular scenario:

Standing in the kitchen making dinner. My husband walks in the door from work.

Kids are running through the neighborhood.

Husband cuddles up behind, as I finish mixing up dinner. Hands are a mess and I'm helpless to his suggestive compliments. He whispers something sexy in my ear. And before I get a chance to wash my hands we've captivated each others attention as if we were in our first month of dating.

Sounds AMAZING!...right?!

Well, I am very blessed to have a husband that fulfills this dream. Yet, I completely have dismissed his effort.
Instead of being flirty and engaging in the moment, I get bugged by him getting in my way. I say that it's inappropriate to be this way, in case the kids were to run in the house unexpectedly. And to my horror, I suddenly destroy a dream come true. In terror I realize I have become a "boring old maid."

Why would I do this!? I think as mother's and women, we constantly are trying to be better. And when we are focused on being better and better we don't stop and let ourselves just be the GREAT that we already are. And therefore we miss out on being sexy, cute, and confident in the given moment. We may think, not yet just a few more pounds to lose. Or, not today my hair is a mess. I'm just not in the mood the kids have driven me crazy all day.

I say to this, "Be a HOT MESS TODAY, NOW!...RIGHT NOW!" Text your husband something cute and sexy, let your man feel wanted. Let yourself be the Fun, Flirty, Sexy Girl he fell in love with. Don't fall into the "old maid" routine.

Bring your SEXY back!

Wake Up Call for Women

Turn that Frown Upside Down

This is FREAKING HILLARIOUS!  

ENJOY!

Turn that FROWN UPSIDE DOWN!

When Tage says something JERKY...instead of getting mad I'll try to say something sarcastic and tackle him, until we both realize that whatever it is isn't worth a day of silence and hurt feelings. 

Or the moments when I'm about ready to freak out, because someone called someone MEAN for the 100th time... Rather than freak out, I try coming up with a funny moment, "Mean whats mean, is that a new word that actually means Cool? Maybe they said you are as cool as me? Cause look how cool my dance moves are."  (and then bust out your best Justin Beiber moves.) They will be so confused and weirded out, that they will go deal with their own problems.

Our second marriage comes with more uncomfortable, stressful, pride swallowing, faith stretching moments than expected. Many of these moments can quickly become overwhelming, but when you simply are willing to laugh at disagreements, or abrupt comments, it makes for a much happier life.

Just try it. The next time your spouse says something that would normally hurt your feelings, come back with some funny sarcastic comment. I try to think of them prior to situations...I'm not very good at quick come backs, but my husband is a great teacher :) so I'm

May your frustrating moments turn into laughter today!

Splash on the Wall

Probably can't see it...but it's there...

I got a moment to clean, not just pick up, but scrub some walls and kitchen floor.

It was one of my cherished "Mom" moments.

• Kids making "Chalk Potion" on the front porch.
• Dinner in the crock pot.
• Husband on his way home.
• Me scrubbing the kitchen.

As I moved the kitchen table bench to sweep, I was suddenly reminded of the reality of being a working mom.
There on the wall were lines of an unknown substance that had dripped down the wall.
And, I don't even know how or when they got there. Drips of this magnitude are hard to go unnoticed. I know that my painting on the wall is not secreting any liquid substance that would cause the lines.
It had to have come from little hands spilling their milk or spitting their milk at each other.

Choices:
1- Feel bad that I didn't notice for probably months that there was milk dripped down my walls.
Think about how horrible it is to not be home with my kids. Beat myself up that I don't stay up til 2 am cleaning my house every night.

Or

2- Clean the wall and feel good about cleaning the wall.

I chose the latter. Worked out much better! 

Enjoy the moment, and give yourself credit for the here and now!

This is Crazy

I lived in Cheyenne, where no one aspires to live. I made  wonderful friends there that I never wanted to leave. When my life was pulled out from under me I had no choice but to move and start over.

I prayed for a miracle; somehow keep these wonderful people in my life.

I met Tage, he had lived in Cheyenne growing up.
Watching a home video at his parents while we were dating, I had been in the house he grew up in.
He had been in the little yellow house that I had rented when I first moved there with my ex-husband.

I was grateful for the connection, but did not yet recognize the magnitude of this miracle.

A few weeks ago, we finally made the trip to Cheyenne. It was a missionary farewell for their family friends son. My ex husband had been this young man's church leader.

The lady we stayed with:
 My dear friend from my old ward, and the mistresses best friend.
To Tage she was a good friend while he lived there after his family moved.

The family friends:
Their Dad served with my ex husband in the church. Their Mom hosted many parties I attended. Their daughter was our babysitter.
To Tage; the family had lived with them when he was little. Tage's Dad had brought their parents to the church while he was on his mission.

Tage and I went to church in "our" old ward. Old to me from 2 years ago, old to him from 10 years ago. My ex-brother-in-law is now the Bishop. I walked in and embraced my old sister-in-law, and sat by her children that were once my nieces and nephews. As I looked around at what was once my old life and the people that surrounded me from my new life I was overwhelmed with this amazing miracle!

Crazy! 

Sweet Moments

When your children's other parent isn't there anymore, you find yourself missing the joy you once had in seeing them giggle with their Dad. Or watching their Mom kiss their scratched knee and wipe their tears.

As Tage and I work to combine our families, those moments are become more and more frequent and genuine.

Dooda came for the weekend, and runs in saying "A'cella A'cella" and puts his arms around me.
When I put his coat on, he gave me a little kiss. When he gets tired he rubs my ears.

I found Lulu snuggled up with Tage reading to him, while he lays in bed with his hurt back.
As Lulu and I finished up a game of Trouble, Bobo was running out of energy to finish the game, and sweet Daddy Tage said, "Hey buddy, you wanna come lay down by me?" I could see Bobo feel so accepted and loved.

Sometimes it is difficult to open your heart and give moments to a new child. You feel as though you won't have enough left to give your own child. Or that by loving another child your child will feel less loved. But, as we all grow, we are learning that is not the case at all. By loving all our childrend we find that we can love more than we believed we could and that by showing love to our new family, our original children learn how to love even more.

Thank you Tage for opening your heart. Thank you for being willing to be in thier lives everyday. Putting up with all the tough, mundain, thankless things is not easy.

I will cherish each sweet moment.

Employee of the Year!

Got to love the blessings of a hard working husband!

We have yet to go on a honey moon. We have been trying to figure out a way to go on vacation. But, it's not much a vacation when it's financially stressful...

We were ready to make the financial sacrifice and have faith that making the sacrifice for eachother would work itself out. And then the seas parted...

2 Flights to anywhere on the west coast.
4 Nights stay at a Kimpton Hotel.

And tons of praise for the man that makes everyone smile at the Salt Lake City Hotel Monaco! I love you Tage!

Congratulations hon!

A Moment that Gives Hope

For Family Home Evening we are focused on simply creating a loving, happy moment with the whole family.

Doesn't have to have any structure, and could be just a few minutes.

Last night, we watched Veggie Tales. Hilarious! (the pickle with the blue plastic wind up lobster toy, ha ha ha!) Tage can't get over the fact that they don't have any arms, which makes it even funnier!

Then we took the video camera and filmed each kid asking a few questions and then watched it. They loved it!

We're doing it! We should've all gotten "Good Job" stickers.

Dad

At Family Home Evening with all 3 kiddos.

I would like to pick a consistent way of referring to Tage, (the father of this home).

It gets tricky sometimes:

Sitting with the kids, making a FHE craft...

• To Doda: "Go ask your Dad"


• To Tage: "Hey Dad, who has the opening prayer?"


• To Bobo: "Tage has the scissors"

It gets tricky. I think I told Doda to ask Tage for help, and Tage (kindly) corrected me about him being Doda's Dad.

As much as anyone would want to have their family feel like one unit: With Mom and Dad, brothers and sisters. That is not exactly what we have.

What we have, are great kids and the ability to set aside titles and focus on creating unity, respect, and love. The kids will figure out what title works for them.